The Art of Conscious Conversations

Ditch the negative mental habits that derail conversations and destroy projects, and discover a framework for forging authentic, enduring, and productive connections.

All too often, we find our conversations stuck in cyclical patterns of unproductive behavior. We listen half-heartedly, react emotionally, and respond habitually, or what Chuck Wisner calls “sleep talking.”

Conscious Conversations explores the way we can reframe our thoughts, emotions, reactions, and interactions so we form a connection from the very first conversation and keep our discourse positive and productive throughout any endeavor. Wisner identifies four universal types of conversations and offers specific advice on maximizing the effectiveness of each:

• Storytelling-Acknowledging and investigating the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves and others
• Collaborating-Exploring the way our stories interact with other people's stories
• Creating-Cocreating possibilities and discovering unforeseen solutions to sticky problems
• Committing-Coordinating our actions with others to get things done

These conversations unfold sequentially: our awareness of our stories transforms our ability to listen and collaborate, which opens our thoughts to creative possibilities, guiding us toward mindful agreements. This framework makes it possible to identify, understand, and deactivate disruptive emotional triggers; listen with empathy to people with opposing perspectives; and forge relationships built on trust.

• Cover
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Dedication
• Contents
• Preface
• Introduction Waking Up in Conversations
• Part I: Storytelling Conversations: Your Stories Are Not the Truth
• 1 The Birth of Stories
• 2 Emotions, Facts, and Stories
• 3 Opinions and Private Conversations
• 4 Processing Our Opinions
• Part II: Collaborative Conversations: Seek to Understand and Absorb Other Perspectives
• 5 In Conversation with Others
• 6 Private Conversations
• 7 Open Advocacy and Inquiry
• Part III: Creative Conversations: Trust Your Intuition
• 8 From Resignation to Wonder
• 9 Intuition and Presence
• 10 Co-creative Conversations
• Part IV: Commitment Conversations: Don’t Make Promises You Can’t Keep
• 11 The Conversational Bypass
• 12 Requests, Offers, and Promises
• 13 Recovery Conversations
• Conclusion A Lifelong Journey
• References
• Acknowledgments
• Index
• About the Author

“Chuck's models of communication and leadership helped me investigate my thinking patterns, unconscious judgments, and ‘stories.' This journey has made me not only a better leader but a better person.”
-Doug Field, Chief EV and Digital Systems Officer, Ford Motor Company

“The Art of Conscious Conversations is a thought-provoking and practical guide to unpacking conversations at work and in life. Seasoned leadership coach Chuck Wisner shares his personal experiences and compelling stories of others who've successfully used the techniques he shares in this book to encourage us all to approach conversations with curiosity and introspection. A compelling read with a big impact.”
-Susan McPherson, author of The Lost Art of Connecting

“Conversations are a portal into strengthening our relationships, yet they aren't always treated with the care they deserve. In The Art of Conscious Conversation, Wisner unpacks the key ingredients to having more thoughtful, connected, and collaborative conversations. This is a helpful guide for building better relationships, one conversation at a time.”
-Ximena Vengoechea, author of Listen Like You Mean it

“What Chuck teaches best is how to use words effectively to reduce misunderstanding and conflict. His easy-to-remember concepts helped me examine my thinking and interactions and transform my conversations at work and at home.”
-Vineet Mehta, Director of System Modeling and Battery Technology, Tesla